Last night we watched the 1993 version of ‘Shadowlands’ the movie based on the love story of famous writer C.S. Lewis and American poetess Joy Gresham. I woke up with a strange thought and lay in bed following its threads for a while, till police sirens and the clanging of fire engines forced me to jump out of bed. The fire which was in the building opposite was extinguished in a short while. Luckily no one was hurt and the interested onlookers returned to the humdrum of their normal lives after that little bit unexpected excitement, that probably gave them a subject to talk about for sometime, while the resident of that flat was left with dealing with various official departments and coming to terms both with his feelings of loss in terms of material goods, as well as gratitude in having escaped with his life.
I went back to the thoughts I was mulling over; C.S. Lewis when he met Joy Gresham was not just teaching at Oxford, he was also a famous and celebrated writer, he was a bachelor and was quite satisfied with the way his life was going. He did not miss the presence of a woman, he was not actively looking for love yet when he lost Joy he was devastated. We can live our lives without something and yet once we have known that thing, we can never go back completely whole, to the way we were before. some vital, intrinsic part of us gets lost with what we have lost. Often we long for things, marriage, children, we know that our life needs something more, yet we have no idea how these are going to fulfill us or fill our lives or what pleasures and pains they will bring. We dream about them while we do not have them and fear losing them when we do.
At no point do we think, “I did not have this before and now I am blessed with it and it has brought me such great joy and happiness like I have never known before and enriched my life in ways I was ignorant of.” No we cannot say that in a way that means we are ever ready to let go or live without it, perhaps because we know that our lives were incomplete before and it is only these people whom some part of us knew existed, who have now brought us happiness.
While I was still thinking on these lines I suddenly told my daughter “you know I lived without you for 32 years” to which the instant retort from my eighteen year old was “baby you didn’t really live those 32 years” Yes, and now you all know how old I am.
Weaving Tapestries, Painting Pictures, Dreaming Dreams 
Scares me how quickly kids can come back with a retort like that. How true though, it is so important to appreciate what we have, sometimes we don’t even know we have it to appreciate, until it’s suddenly gone from our lives. Good thoughts to chew over.
Hee hee, don’t you just love kids?
As for C S Lewis. It makes you wonder if it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I think it probably is though. 😀
Amazing what comes from the mouths of those whom we oft think as youngsters. Indeed that was one of the better retorts I have seen in many years! Touche! I am impressed, and the blog is simply breathtaking- congrats! And keep it up!
sorry I was delayed but I have not been feeling well and a cable on my monitor crapped out and I just replaced it today…….sighhh. 🙂
(BTW- you’re just a youngster compared to me! 🙂 )
Reality is often a battered suitcase in which we carry our dreams and aspirations around.
Often we attempt to write our heartfelt ambitions, in the form of hopes and dreams on one side of the page of life – whilst destiny writes unpityingly our unimagined fate on the back of the unturned page, without our knowledge or consent.
Life is just the space of time we are given to travel from the beginning to the end of our existence, and we must do our best to make the most of it, in a way that is as tolerable and as compliant as our means and our conscience will allow.